Communication Transforms Marriages

(KENYA) In 2012, World Renew partner Pentecostal Assemblies of God—Kabale (PAG Kabale) embarked on an HIV innovation project aimed at reducing the number of new HIV infections in the Kabale area of Uganda. To a critic, this would sound like a tall order for a medium-sized, faith-based organization. But on the other hand, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step,” so PAG and the Kabale community took on the task of assessing their vulnerabilities to HIV and AIDS.

[Nema leads the charge in Health and HIV for World Renew throughout East and Southern Africa.]

Since HIV is a challenge even for married couples in this area, the project began by focusing specifically on couples. The trainings (called Stepping Stones) were offered first to pastors and their spouses, in order to facilitate dialogue sessions with couples within their congregations. That said, mobilizing couples for monthly meetings is not an easy task! The pastors made the meetings their priority and persistently called on the couples in their congregations to attend. A year later, there are two couples clubs that meet regularly in these churches to openly discuss issues that make them vulnerable to HIV and AIDS.

The stories of transformation resulting from this church-based intervention are both uplifting and full of promise.

Anna and her husband, participants in the Katuna couples’ club, have this to say:

(Anna)“I used to participate in church activities, but my husband did not, but since we were invited to attend the Stepping Stones transformation sessions, he has started attending church regularly. He used to abuse alcohol, but he has cut back on drinking and comes home early. He used to get home past 9:00 pm, but now he is home by 7:00pm.”
(Anna's husband)“When I came to the group I learned about the dangers of drinking alcohol, and I decided to stop,” her husband said. “The sessions about alcohol abuse opened my eyes to the risks of drinking, and I decided to stop. It has given me time to be at home with our family and talk with my wife about our household development.”

The pastors who are leading the sessions also note what God is doing among them:

“I thank God for Stepping Stones. This tool has changed our lives. It has helped us work together despite our denominational differences because sin has no boundaries—it does not discriminate. When we started Stepping Stones training, we went back to our churches and communities to talk about what we learned. And we continue to provide counseling to couples that have challenges. The knowledge we acquired through Stepping Stones has enabled us to reach out to others in our community as well. We have many stories of transformation! Many people travel near and far to consult with us about improving their relationships. It is our prayer that Stepping Stones will be extended into more communities in Kabale so that many more couples can benefit from it. One of the most important things we learned is to communicate with our spouses so that our households can develop. Now, couples who have taken the Stepping Stones training are models in their communities and are being consulted to address marital issues. Couples who were at the point of involving the police have stopped resorting to violence after getting our counsel.
– Warren Barusya, pastor in the Anglican Church

Members of the Roman Catholic Church who attend a couple’s club…

“Though I am a teacher in the church, I never used to walk with my wife,” another leader said. “As a result of Stepping Stones sessions, we walk together and even go out for a soda together.”
“My husband has been supportive of me since we joined Stepping Stones sessions,” his wife says, “He has agreed to go for HIV testing, something that was difficult for him before. We went and were tested, and found that we are HIV-negative. This experience has brought us closer together. Our intimate relationship has improved greatly as a result of knowing our HIV status!

Even with all the couples impacted, I was most encouraged by the presence of a single young man named Francis Niwagaba. I met him early last year at the start of the Katuna project, and his story sticks in my mind as I marvel at what the Lord has done in such a short time. I shared his story with churches and groups during my visit to Canada and the U.S. in 2013. Francis represents many lives that have been restored through Christian love and compassion.

Now a facilitator for Stepping Stones trainings among young men done through PAG Kabale, Francis has this to say:

“I thank God for the person who created the Stepping Stones curriculum. I am an orphan and I have lived my life making my own decisions. Through Stepping Stones training, I discovered that my choices were not often right. Through the behavior change sessions, I discovered that I some of my behaviors needed to change. I was drinking too much because I believed that I needed alcohol to get to sleep. I also smoked cigarettes, not because I liked it but because I wanted to fit in with my peers. During the Stepping Stones training, I decided to start making changes in my life. I thank God that by the time we ended the training, I made some significant changes and now I am maintaining my new behavior.”

Today, Francis is continuing to reach out to young people in his community. What is even more exciting is that he is now married and his wife has joined him! They attend couples sessions together and Francis is also facilitating dialog sessions with young men in his community.

He is full of joy and has a constant smile on his face. He looks healthy and younger than he did the first time I met him. He shares ideas with other facilitators and tracks the impact of Stepping Stones among the young people in his community.

In Him,